Today’s Top 3 Things I Would Like to Tell My Daughter Going into Adulthood:
1. Save a place inside your spirit that lives in Neverland. Of all the things that I am made of that got me through the toughest of times, the one that helped the most was that I suffer from what I call “Peter Pan Syndrome”. Though I get stuff done and have lived a big life already at 38 years old, I have reserved the right to occupy a large part of me that never grows up. I don’t want to be old and responsible and all-business *all* of the time. I want to PLAY! I want to gut-busting-ly LAUGH! I want to dress BOLD & DARING. I want to cut LOOSE & be FREE, like a bird. One of my favorite quotes is from a Tori Amos song, “You’re just an empty cage, girl, if you kill the bird.” Never kill the bird, and never fully grow up. You must always see some aspects of life through the eyes of a child. Stay young. Stay imaginative. Stay full of wonder. Stay full of stars. The only thing that will ever grow old will be your vessel, not its treasure trove of contents.
2. Always put on moisturizer, all over your body, every day. Just trust me on this one. Take the time, even if you end up being the Old Lady Who Lives in a Shoe and you have an army of children hollering for you and pulling on your appendages — do it for you. And start young, no matter how invincible you feel or flawless you are. Growing old gracefully is a gorgeous part — and gift! — of living (you shouldn’t fight it), but you don’t have to help it by ignoring the simple pleasures of taking care of yourself. Don’t take your youth for granted and don’t disrespect your old-age. They are equally as splendid.
3. Unless you’re in politics, don’t fight over politics. If this turns out to be one of your passions, so be it, BUT don’t let it stand between you and someone else. I can’t stand seeing friendships dissolve, or equally wonderful people miss out on each other, over the difference in conservative, liberal, and everything in-between viewpoints. In fact, I would tell you to not discuss them, period, unless your fighting for one of your convictions. I have only talked politics to those who are my closest, dearest friends over the years. If I had more restraint, I would not have even talked to them. I would have only talked to your stepdad. Save politics for your partner, where things stay within the confines of your bedroom walls. (Again, not those you’re convicted to and standing up for or against, but the shaming of other parties.) For me, this worked out easier, because I don’t want to choose my friends based on politics, but eventually something WILL come out that can’t ever be unheard or unread. Up until I felt strongly about one presidential election, and I became an advocate for LGBT rights and women’s rights in my 20s, I never even told people how liberal I was or how I voted. I didn’t feel that was anyone else’s business because I wanted to be judged on my character, not my party. It didn’t mean I wasn’t politically aware or concerned, it just meant I was serious and I wasn’t going to let my side segregate me from others. I wasn’t going to enter any pissing contests. And I certainly wasn’t going to take what’s supposed to be a unified country and let the politics of it DIVIDE me from others. So, tread lightly, but believe staunchly…… whichever way you lean, stand straight.
… Oh, and I love you more than the whole world with a cherry on top!
~ Heather Angelika
Founder/Owner of Gallant Girls