I have been keeping a “book” for my daughter since she was 4 years old and I knew that she was going to grow even faster than I could evolve with her. Everyday I write down 3 things that I want her to know and to take into adulthood with her. Some of the things get duplicated, some are redundant, and some even contradict the things I wrote before I was enlightened, but yet again. Either way, I have decided to begin to share those entries with you, daily. The idea is that my daughter takes this with her into adulthood as a reference, if you will; something to have when I am not always with her or gone from this earth. Maybe one day she will write one of her own for her child(ren), or rewrite mine to keep it current and/or to suit her beliefs, or even just pass it along to my grandchildren. So, here is today’s installment:
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Today’s Top 3 Things I Would Like to Tell My Daughter Going into Adulthood:
1. Never let anyone steal your sparkle. People are going to come into your life for various different reasons and try to tear you down for just as many various reasons — to diminish your shine and sparkle. For whatever reasons they try to do this, it is never about you… It is about them. At the core of everyone who bullies or bashes another person, there is someone inside of them who is hurt, angry, misguided, or just plain cruel-of-heart. It does not mean that anything they say is true about you, but there is truth there — the truth is that somewhere there is a pain in them that began before you came into their life, and will remain there when you no longer are. Don’t let them steal your sparkle. It was never theirs to take, and you should never give it up to them for ransom.
2. There is nothing more rewarding than kindness. Kindness, in all situations, does not mean that you are weak, gullible, an easy target, or a “Sitting Duck”. People WILL think this about you, but as they attempt to ruffle your feathers and get you to react to them the way they’re treating you, they will feel the strong-will that you possess. Fairness + Respect + Dignity = A Strong Will. I’ve always told you this, but I will tell you again, that everyone from the president of the United States to the cashier at McDonald’s deserves your kindness. Even if they forget part of your order, don’t include a straw, or give you back the wrong change, when you pull your car back around, give him/her a smile and a thank you. Their life may be in a shambles and they may be barely hanging on at work that day, but they need their paycheck to put food on the table, or field trip money for their child. No matter what the circumstance, you have the great ability to be a bright spot in that person’s day. I assure you, that for every ten impatient, frustrated, and ornery people that person serves that day, they will forget them. They will NOT, however, forget your kindness and courtesy.
3. When life gives you lemons, make a giant pitcher of lemonade. What I mean is… In your younger years of 3 to 8, you watched me do everything alone as a single parent in our 800 sq ft Shawnee house. You watched me be able to receive help that was offered to me, but you also watched me be unable to ask for it. Your Great Grandma Donna had a saying, “You got it honest.” This just meant that in our family, we come from a long line of “Do It Yourself-ers” — whatever circumstances came our way, we tackled them ourselves, no matter how much we had to struggle in the process. Learn from my mistakes; don’t do this. This world is full of giving, thoughtful people who wouldn’t think twice about offering you a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on. Utilize it. So, take that giant pitcher of lemonade and invite people over to help you when it’s a bit too much to go at alone. Offer them a glass as a thank you, and let them help to give you good reason to restore your faith in humankind. Recycle what you have been given, no matter its origin. Turn the trying times into something replenishing and toast to friendship!
~ Heather Angelika
Founder/Owner of Gallant Girls